 Sometimes I wish that *I* were an Operating System.... So that someone could just format me... and I could start all over again.
I want to forget people and places.... things I have done and people I have spent large chunks of my life with. Because although people say that those experiences build who we are... I don't particularly care for the bitter and estranged person that I am right now. Great portions of my life have very little meaning, and I have no reason to believe that it's going to change. I thought that things were changing and that I'd have a family and that I'd have a life again... but now I have no reason at all to keep repeating my day over and over again.
If nothing ever changes, and a person just continues to walk in the same circle over and over again... get up... go to work... go home... go to sleep.... why would someone want to continue that? Once your anchor to meaning is gone, and you're adrift in the middle of the ocean of that which you despise....
I'm happy for everyone that is experiencing life and having their dreams come true. But there really are those of us that have continued to try and try and try to make their dreams come true and those dreams just go away once we wake up, never to show their faces again.
So sometimes... I just want to start over. And forget about all of the things that have happened before.
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